Etiquette for summer get-togethers
by Seth Elliott
As the summer sun finally shines on pools, parties, patios and decks, our social calendars fill with outdoor escapades. The summer season is packed with grand poolside shindigs, but even lazy days on a lounge chair soaking up sun with a bestie are cause for excitement. Remember, poolside shenanigans of the season come with responsibility as you subject the general population to your summer antics.
Primary objective: suit up for the occasion.
Relax – we all have parts we prefer to hide and other parts we like to display regardless of our body types. Place the focus on your preferred assets by using some simple tricks to keep you feeling your best while you are half undressed.
Fit is the most important factor, not the size you must purchase to perfect it. Take it all off when you try on swimsuits, except your underwear. (That’s just gross, people!) Plan ahead to provide an unobscured view, and bring one trusted compadre to be sure your pool-side appearance is up to par from a 360-degree perspective.
Pay attention to the lines the suit creates on your body. A pair of trunks that has a higher rise can ruin a painstakingly developed Adonis belt. If you think you have bird legs, look for trunks with a narrow leg opening that stops on the widest part of your thigh. No junk in your trunk? Pockets or patterns can do wonders for fluffing even the flattest cushions.
Boardshorts look amazing … on surfers, whose inherent cool is undeniable. Guys who refuse to abandon boardshorts that hit below the knee should realize they are rocking the poolside equivalent to a bedazzled Ed Hardy shirt. Pick a suit that hits anywhere above the knee. Possessing a few pairs, in varying lengths and degrees of scandal, is optimal. Match the sin to the setting and for best results do so before drinking. This helps avoid awkward explanations at the neighborhood pool about your Andrew Christian Speedos.
Always stuff… your cooler with extras to share. A precisely packed cooler can be the difference between getting the party started and starting to look for another party. Your cooler can be a powerful social tool used to make new friends. When was the last time you refused a free frosty beverage? Prepare something a little more creative to drink and you have an instant conversation starter. If you are chasing after the ripped crowd, or after the look for yourself, then frozen grapes are a perfect poolside nosh even die-hard summer dieters will enjoy guilt free.
Make sure to throw your SPF in the cooler, too. Though it’s called sunblock, you’ll manage to still achieve that golden complexion without looking like tanned leather. There is nothing wrong with a healthy glow but the fresh-from-the-microwave look is not flattering. Sport sprays are great for easy all-over coverage, but keep a good old-fashion lotion variety on deck as well. It would be a shame to miss the opportune moment to lend a helping hand and protect those hard-to-reach spots for a promising pool prospect.
Mandals are having a moment, and not just for girls who like girls. The return of the Birkenstock in fashion is punctuated by likes of Prada and Givenchy pushing their own versions. If this is your piggies’ passion then get them out on the town before the fashion fades. If you’re going to let your toes hang out then please do so responsibly – some of us are trying to eat here. A basic professional pedicure works wonders on anyone’s paws.
All these tips can be rendered useless if you don’t pick a good spot to set up camp. Both the position of the sun and of the local talent you are scouting are important to consider. Pay attention to the signs as you take a lap and consider the mood you are in. Are you ready to rage or just enjoying a chill Sunday Funday? The girl sipping champagne at the pool looks promising, but if you are in a Jell-O shots and Miller Lite mood you might want to park it on the other side of the brocean to party. Avoid looking like a creep staring down possible future partners and invest in a stellar pair of shades with mirrored lenses.
There is no mistaking the power of personal prowess at any poolside bash. Everyone has their own way to shine, so focus on your positives and others will follow suit. Rock what you got because life is too short not to eat cupcakes, and there is nothing sexier than confidence in any setting.
It’s time to play but be polite to those partying around you. If you are the type who might put the “p” in pool, remember to forgo the asparagus on your pre-party salad. When in doubt, the golden rule always applies where poolside etiquette is concerned.